Beware the East Wemyss Pterodactyl

Before I write anything it’s essential that I tell you a big black dog came running up and did a great big dump next to where I’m sitting. It wasn’t me – no trowel action required.

Last night I was walking on the Coastal path towards west wemyss (pronounced ‘weems’ to the uneducated amongst you), it was a little barren but next to the beach – lovely.
I looked down at the ground and saw some holes – rabbits or something I thought to myself.

A man further up the road said it would be nice if it wasn’t for the flies. I swear these ‘flies’ the size of small dogs, I tell ye, been known to suck a grown man dry in a matter of minutes. I was savaged by these beasts – huge they were – comin’ out of the ‘oles like blimmen’ great….

Why I’ve turned into a 1950’s horror film is anyone’s guess.

I was savaged by flies – I put the tent up in record breaking time… Then when I was on the phone a huge bumble bee flew into my tent – I stayed calm – doubly incontinent – but fine – no-one need ever know…

Spoke to me old mate Derek, amongst others.

“I’m going to take it easy tomorrow…” I was feeling a little sorry for myself after having most of the blood sucked out of me.

“what’s easy?”

“well it looks like I’ve got a place to stay in lower largo – I’ll get there on Sunday”

“how far is it?”

“er 7 miles….”

“7 miles is an easy day you spineless…

He did go on a bit.

I got up early this morning in an attempt to beat the flies – had my breakfast (which should have been tea – provided by the lovely lou) and then packed my things up – no flies!

Went to pick up the tent – they’d been under it all night – they’d been waiting for me – squadrons of them – I can still hear their buzzing… Oh, that’s a plane….blimmin’ hoards of them there were aaaaasrrrrrgggghhhh!!

I’m ok now though.

Walk a mile people

Chris

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