Hi folks – yes, rest has been enjoyed. My rib hasn’t been overly keen to improve and, to be fair, my head hasn’t been rushing back to level place with any great speed either.
That said, today Ella and I will be going off to Scotland with all my bits and pieces to stay at a bed and breakfast she’d booked prior to the spinout.
I’ll be back on the road on Thursday 26th of May.
I’ve tried to acknowledge some of the things that got me into the pickle of only a few days ago.
First of all – this isn’t a race. I’ve had a number of conversations with folk where I’ve felt apologetic for what I might see as low mileage each day. I recently had a chat with a guy who was walking about 5 miles a day more than me…
He was carrying about half the weight I was – he was only walking 80 miles ( I never thought I’d see me write the words ‘only’ and ‘80 miles’ in the same sentence) – his journey was only going to last a few days – mine, however, well, mine was different.
And yet I compared and contrasted. I felt I should be going faster.
I have places to stay in Nairn, in Inverness and probably the black isle.
I’d decided I had to be at each of these by an arbitrarily set date… Set by me…it was becoming a race.
To this end I found myself walking on the main roads to places – and feeling agitated when I was taking a longer route – or becoming tired.
I should have spotted a problem in myself when I recently became inwardly narked because I’d followed a path alongside the beautiful meandering river Spey, walking through woodland accompanied by butterflies and the sounds of countless birds echoing through the trees, instead of walking along a main road which would have been quicker.
I was struggling because the solar energy thingies attached to my backpack weren’t providing sufficient energy to talk and gps and blog.
I was struggling because my boots, which I felt should have lasted a few hundred miles more had developed a hole in both soles where water was coming in.
This was never a race – this was always going to be a journey where I observed things happening – where things were not going to stress me.
If people offered me support, that was great – if they didn’t, that was fine too.
Somehow I’d managed to put all the support I’d received, the obvious kindness and charitable nature of those around me, yourselves included, to one side.
For the first time I have experienced some doubt. Not in the project, or the people of the uk – but in myself. Really in my mental health. But again, that’s surely what this is all about. It’s about raising awareness of my and other folks mental health issues. Mine will ebb and flow as it has done for the past 30 odd years. There really is no reason why I should be miraculously cured because I’m storming out on surely what must be seen as a just cause.
I can be a big silly sometimes.
Fizzy head and aching rib aside, I’m going to revert to the more gentle me at the beginning of all this.
On top of that, I’ve now got some widgets that allow for longer periods away from the recharge points in people’s homes.
I have also ordered some boots.
All pretty obvious things – but when I’d allowed my head to become a little screwy, they were far from that.
Ok, that’s the update. I’ll slot in a few blogs before I set off again – and, from Thursday, I’ll date them – makes sense really, doesn’t it?
Gentle hands, chris, gentle hands.
Walk a mile folks